


and clip their tiny wings

by maybefreak



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-25 13:16:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2623106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybefreak/pseuds/maybefreak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick wants to leave, and Pete desperately tires to make him stay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and clip their tiny wings

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING.

When it's time, you sorta just know. It could be a set thing. Maybe a person is simply destined to die at a certain time, on a certain date. Or maybe people are all just organisms under a giant microscope. Unpredictable and unchangeable. Patrick didn't know, but that wasn't going to change his mind. He knew the thing that mattered most--that it was time.

They were at a hotel, it was after a show in Iowa. Pete, Joe and Andy were all in their own rooms, it seemed like the perfect moment.

Pills were the best way to go, he thought. No pain, just sleep. It was simple, and he needed something simple, something plain, among the chaos.

He wrote the note.

To whoever,

I'm sorry it had to end this way. You'll be okay, though. Andy, Joe and Pete, you're strong. You'll find a better lead singer who won't ever leave you like this. Soon I'll be nothing but a memory, and I'm alright with that. 

You're all amazing. Don't ever let this stop you, please.

I love you,

-Patrick Martin Stumph

He broke down afterwards, letting sob after sob tremor through his body as he thought about his final moments. It would end, in a matter of minutes. He knew he was being selfish, but selflessness was the least of his concerns. He'd fought off demons for all these years, and now they've finally got him in their grasp.

"Time to go." he mumbled. He placed the note, carefully folded, onto his nightstand. Patrick sighed, unscrewing the lid to his sleeping pills. He forced handfuls of the stuff down his throat, cringing. No water, though. He needed the effects in full throttle. 

He blinked. Nothing was happening. Then he blinked again, and found himself on the floor, semi-gasping for air. 

Patrick was fading fast now. His mind was all fuzzy and he could barely comprehend what was coarsing through him, but he didn't do anything to stop it. 

He heard the door get thrown open, but didn't look up, or open his eyes. He knew it was Pete. By the scent of his cologne, and the squeak his shoes made on the floor, and his familiarly low voice screaming Patrick's name.

"Patrick, oh god oh god Patrick, no no no no." Pete gasped, collapsing by Patrick's side. The older man held Patrick's wrist, breathing in relief when he felt a pulse- slow but steady. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Trick?? Trick, can you hear me?! Oh god, stay with me, buddy."

"....Pete?" Patrick asked. The image of Pete was blurry, and the sound of his voice was being distorted.

"Yeah, yeah. It's me, Pete." He sounded frantic now. "It's me. Focus on me. Please... please don't die.."

There were more footsteps in the distance, followed by a gasp.

"Andy, call an ambulance! No, get Joe. Wait, call an ambulance and then get Joe."

Andy's high voice was muffled to Patrick by the time he had pulled his phone out and shakily dialled 911. The last thing Patrick could register before his whole mind went black were Pete's scared eyes and his own heartbeat growing slower in his ears.

******

Beep...beep...beep...

Patrick stirred, uncomfortable on top of the scratchy material lining his bed. No, not his own bed, per say. A bed, but not his.

"He's awake!" Joe yelled, shaking Pete and Andy awake.

Patrick opened his eyes and grimaced when bright light met his gaze, automatically making them water. He was confused, no doubt about that. Why was he in here?

"Holy hell, Patrick!" 

And then he was engulfed in a mess of hugs and some tears. He hugged back, unknowing of what else he could do. When they all pulled away, Patrick looked at their faces. Joe and Andy had rings around their eyes, like they hadn't slept. And Pete, well, Pete looked as dead as Patrick felt, frankly. Eyes dark and cheeks damp with tears. He smelled pretty bad, too, like he hasn't showered in days. Maybe he hadnt... fuck.

"What happened?"

All three of their faces fell a bit. "You don't remember, do you?" Andy asked.

Patrick shook his head. 

Pete was the one to answer. "You tried to kill yourself, Patrick. You took some pills, and... and I found you half-dead in the hotel room."

Memories came flooding back, suddenly, and a few tears fell. He remembered how the pills made him all woozy. And the cries of distress, and the ambulance lights flashing from before his eyelids. And the pain, oh god, the pain.

"H-how long was I out?"

"Three days," Pete supplied, reaching out and wiping the tears away with his thumb. 

"Oh."

******

The next time he woke up, it was only Pete in the room with him.

"Why'd you do it, Trick?"

Patrick's gut twisted with guilt when he saw Pete's tear-stained face.

"I felt like it was the time, I guess."

"Why on earth would you think that? Huh?" Pete asked. Now he was pissed. Not pissed at Trick, though, at himself. How could he not have realized? Looking back now, it was all too obvious. The way people would poke fun at him and he would laugh, but afterwards his shoulders would slump dejectedly. How he always seemingly had his arms wrapped around his middle, insecurely. 

"Because I'm nothing, Pete."

"Wha--"

"And.. and one day you all were gonna realize that I'm more trouble than I'm worth and you'll find a better lead singer, and I was forlonging the inevitable all these years. I'm so, so undeserving of you guys."

"Patrick.. you know that isn't true."

"And I love you."

Pete laughed, surprised. "What?"

"I love you, and I've had the stupidest crush on you ever since I was auditioning to play guitar, but you convinced me to sing. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Y-you do?"

"Yeah, Patrick. Ashlee, I was only ever with her because she reminded me of you."

Pete crawled into the hospital bed and wrapped his arms around Patrick.

"Promise me something, okay?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me that you'll never try this again. Ever."

"Pete..."

"You're so perfect, you know that? You sing like nothing I've ever heard before, and the way your eyes light up is the only reason that mine light up, and your smile is what drags me out of bed on those bad mornings."

"I promise."

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the sadness:/
> 
> Comments are love, I like seeing your input:)
> 
> -Jxoxo


End file.
